Why?

(repost of my private Livejournal entry)
Why can't I ever stick to eating health?? Why do I always feel the need to spend money as soon as I get it??

So yesterday I got my security deposit back from Jeanne, we got the entire amount back so it was a good size check. Which I went to the ATM to deposit. Afterwards, I decided I wanted to eat... so I went to a sushi bar down the street from the bank, bear in mind that I had some chilli at home for dinner earlier.

Then again today... I went out before work and ended up getting pizza for lunch instead of eating the tuna and bag-o-spinach I have at home. Dinner? Why not Pop Eye's? Sure.

So really fail at the W.I.W.M. thing as I tend to skip over the question. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.....

Why the fuck can't I stay focused and modivated. After the fact, I'm always like "why did I just do that" but by then it's too late. Case in point... Tues... Eric called and ask me if I wanted to goto the movies. Instead of eating at home and then going out, we went to Bennigan's and I had a Cuban Monte Christo. After the first bit I could feel my arteries cloggng and thought "why do I always get this, I never finish it, I always end up thinking it's way to heavy..."

At least, so far, I'm sticking to the working out. And both the cardio and weights none the less! Now lets just see how I do next week. Typical in the past... Week 1 = great, Weekend 1 = drum corp, Week 2 = "I need to recover for camp", Week 3 = "What week 3?"

THIS CAN NOT HAPPEN THIS TIME!!

THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN THIS TIME!!

I want a body like this, and I will get it!